This Fucking October

Its this time of the year when I am most spent,
Physically though, I never lose that mental intent.
But as they say its all in the mind,
Emptiness fucks me, My Company I can’t bind.

Its not just one dominion where I loose ground,
When demons come, from all sides they surround,
And lonely I stand facing these walls,
Therein lays the problem I can’t receive calls.

Everything then starts to go so wrong,
Even those which were a ball in the park,
My trusted senses become weak, even to a pet’s bark.
And I am not my usual self, audacious and strong.

When things need to be managed in a subtle manner,
My excited self fails like a miserable planner.
Those with the potential of being ones of a lifetime,
Turn out to be days that continue my misery rhyme.

Those buds that I longed for even without a ghost,
Fucked along with arrogance in times of a toast.
And made me wonder, as if I was the foolish one,
Or had I got under their skin, being the ignored one.

Again these days with the potential of a lifetime,
On Professional grounds I managed to mess.
I am plagued again, now a habit of mine,
Not firing when needed, like the untimely raw wine.

Resources I had gathered for a time too long,
An indispensable element for which I had to crave,
But as they say it’s the undeniable destiny’s song,
Grooves on his forehead, deciding course of the brave

Even my path’s determined by the lines on my palm,
And now its all in my hands but still not there.
So I stand here facing with coolness and calm,
What more in this fucking October I have to bare.